For two years I was in a relationship with someone who I thought, was an amazing guy. Do not get me wrong, I loved him more than I have ever loved any guy, but looking back at it, that love was not healthy. I started dating “Nathan” my senior year of high school, he was not only a year younger, but I did not know him before my senior year. He took me on our first “date” during a free block to chipotle and I instantly felt like a princess (because who doesn’t love chipotle). My senior year was amazing; I had a boyfriend who was my best friend, and also the best girl friends anyone could ever ask for. What I did not realize during my senior year was that I lost a part of myself. I was constantly speeding from my basketball games to make sure I was on time for each of Nathan’s hockey games. I made sure after each game he had pizza or McDonalds (those were his favorite after game foods), that he did work and was always prepared for anything, and lastly I realized I was not putting myself first. I was not spending as much time with my best friends, I was always preoccupied on my phone (texting him) and I had to watch my every move, because he constantly criticized my every tweet, instagram like or action.
As I graduated my senior year, and headed off to college things only got worse. We fought constantly; I was mentally and emotionally abused, and could not enjoy my college experience (partially because I was coming home every weekend to see him and because I did not love my school). I stilled loved Nathan, but we both knew it was not healthy, but stuck it out for another year. This August, the day before I left for school we broke up. I truly cried for weeks before because I knew it was going to happen. Though the breakup was inevitable and necessary, I have started to be ok with the fact that we are over. I have not spoken to him in two whole days (which is a long time for anyone who knows me). I can now “like” photos and tweet whatever I want without being called “fake”, just because my ex did not like what I was doing. I do not have to cry at night when he calls me an idiot because he did not like what I said or did.
What I have come to realize is that I am the girlfriend or the friend who would do anything for the people I love. But most importantly I learned that I am stronger than I thought I am. I love Nathan, now and forever. He taught me lessons and gave me memories (and a billion pictures) that I will never forget. Of course, now I am tearing up because he means so much to me. Now I have time to focus on me, I am working extremely hard at my new school (I transferred), I have made amazing friends and I am learning new lessons every day. Although our relationship may be over, I learned a lot about myself. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and that God only gives you what you can handle, so I must be able to handle a lot.
