How I Manage Failure

By Erin Allaire

If you are like me, you probably hate failure.  It probably doesn’t feel good to say when you failed.  It can be excruciatingly painful to see others achieve certain milestones, or opportunities that you have “failed” at.  It could be a test, a promotion, not having found a partner, etc.  The list becomes redundant.  Certain aspects of life matter more to some than to others.  My inner critic screams at me “they have achieved this, why haven’t you?”  “Why are you falling behind?”  Failure has made me question my intellect, and if I can truly achieve a desired outcome. It has also had me rethink my goals, and my future. 

Until recently, I have maintained this outlook until I have made a choice for a paradigm shift.  Failing means I had the courage to try something new.  After all, taking a risk demonstrates that I love myself enough to go for it.  It is far worse to have never tried, then to have been left wondering what could be.  With each failure I have, I develop resilience and strength.  I learn to trust the process, and love myself.  Not only this, but I develop confidence in myself and my abilities.  I learn what sets me apart from others, and to keep doing what works for me.  It has become a habit. 

With every failure, I am tapping into new areas of interest as well as areas of mental toughness.  Through all of my experiences, I have learned to go for it.  I am young and easily malleable.  By putting myself in different situations I evolve.  These positives do not take away from the visceral sting.  It still hurts when I do not see my efforts pay off.  I have realized that sting can be a motivator, or a deterrent.  I cannot control the failure itself.  I cannot control other people.  The type of person I am, and the mindset I have is completely my choice.  

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